Gym Scary

So i got a 3 day free trial for the gym and decided to go use it last night. We all know that a free trial comes with it's trials!! And this one was no different. They start by having some guy (a guy if your a girl a girl if your a guy) walk you around the gym and ask you ten times why you want to join the gym. Then while he is walking me around he is telling me that i don't really look like i need to work out......ok dude if your just trying to make me feel good it's not going to work. I don't give a f*ck what you think. (yeah i used the F word b/c thats what that sentence needed.) Did it ever occur to you that i like working out? that i look the way i look b/c i don't let myself get to the point of no return? Or how about this shut up and just show me the stupid gym b/c we all know thats what your getting paid for. Then we are in the free weight area and he is telling me that most "ladies" don't use this area....... ok. Do you know that i do.....Not only that but if i was a feminist i would have punched you in the nuts for saying such a stupid thing. He either A. never dates "ladies" with their own thoughts, B. Really thinks "ladies" don't like free weights, or C. Was just trying to let out some of the hot air in his head. DUH saying things like "you don't even look like you need to work out" or "usually ladies don't use this area" are NOT going to lead me to join your gym!!
But i left out one of the best parts. The part where he is showing me the cardio machines and telling me what each one does (mind you I've already told him that i have not only been in a gym before but which ones and for how long) so he points to the bikes and tells me "they don't do anything for you, but don't tell those people on them...hahaha." WOW really!! REALLY?! I'm pretty sure they do plenty for people......I'm pretty sure your a moron. No wait it's confirmed your a MORON!!! Oh and I'm pretty sure he thinks swimming does nothing for you either b/c he was acting like the swimming pool they have is so "country club" i.e. just for old heads to soak in. Even though i TOLD him that i love swimming and that was my main reason for choosing that gym!!!
But you see this guy was the nice one. Because after he shows me the gym we go to his desk and we talk about the $. which is what its all really about. And when i express that I'm not looking to join this instant. He goes and gets what i suppose is the deal closing guy. BUT let me tell you thank God i don't own a gun or have fists of steal b/c this Jackwipe was two twitches away from me going all crazy white trash crack whore needing a fix on his a$$!!
He sits there and hounds me about how 3 days really isn't enough time to see if you like a gym, to see if your going to commit to a workout, to eat the worlds largest pizza, to have this pole removed from his butt, and to find and fully train a wild zebra!! And i tell him.....your right 3 days really isn't enough BUT it's what you are giving me. I would love to have a week but you only offer 3 days. So he lowers the price by 5$ and tells me i don't have to have all the $ right now i have 60 days to pay the membership fee + the 1st and last months dues. Thats super i say but i still want to try the gym for 3 days. He twitches like his steroids are wearing off and keeps hounding me about how it's all fine and good to want to go to the gym but unless you join right now today you wont commit. NOW tell me am i crazy here or does it make sense that if i can't make it to a gym for 3 days in a row i should not join......But no he keeps trying to get me to not use the 3 free days and to join now.......Finally after 10 pounds of sweat (b/c that gym is hot and i was in work clothes which involve layers b/c work is cold) he gets it through is very thick skulled very tiny tiny tiny over steroid exposed brain that i am NOT going to give him any money today. NO MONEY FOR YOU ROID MAN!!
Finally after all that i use the ghetto treadmill and the very ghetto elliptical machine for some time. I sit on the ghetto equipment and think how the 1st guy told me they are opening a new gym every 9 days thats how fast they are growing. and how soon they will have new treadmills....and i think if your getting new ones does that mean these ghetto ones are going to one of the "new" gyms you open every 9 days? And is it really a good sign when 5 of your treadmills are "out or order" especially when you boost about how many cardio machines you have......um have you subtracted the amount of broken ones for that number?
So really 3 days is enough b/c if in 3 days you still have ghetto equipment i'm thinking i can join one of the other gyms in the area. (since there are 3 others....even more then that but 3 i am willing to join.)

IRTC: I was not trying to make you jealous....i was saying how Mom and I end up on the Spanish channel when your not around. And you don't have her all to yourself all night.....i'll be over for a little while so HA double HA!! hahahahaaa And Charles is right we are hilarious! :o)
No i don't believe you told me about the Cosi yummy fire'ness! But thats ok i forgive! and someday i will try the crepes!