So my Gram (the only one still living)... i call her gram just realized some people might not realize that she is my Grandma. ANYWAYS. she will be 91 next month. She hasn't been doing so good recently. A lot of her problems seem like they can be traced to pain meds or basic mistakes by medical professionals that just didn't know or didn't take the time. ANYWAYS. This week was particularly bad. She fell and broke her hip. Yikes... well here it's most likely b/c she was given a pain med where the Dr. warned it would make her dizzy. Great. just what an almost 91 year old needs... dizziness.
So she broke her hip. She's in the hospital... the drs think she only has 3 months to live (excuse me one dr. thinks that) SO that dr. doesn't recommend she gets the hip surgery b/c she most likely wont live through that. Well my uncle insist that she gets it b/c how super awesome would the next three months of her being bedridden be? What kind of life is that? WHAT THE *UCK basically. So she gets the surgery and seems to be recovering fine... until her blood pressure drops way low and she wont wake up.
Well... once they figure out that she has passed out from not having much blood in her to begin with (you know losing blood from surgery and what not...) they start giving her blood. She wakes up half way through the second pint (i believe) and my mom (a nurse) recommends we (anyone visiting) keep talking to her to keep her awake.
I arrive with flowers for her. I show them to her and she says "Oh are these for everyone?" and i tell her that no they are just for her! Then to keep her talking i ask her what she thinks of them if they are pretty... blah blah blah. And she says "your not afraid to spend the money on the good ones!" LOL ok Gram whatever you say. Then she says to me "Who are we waiting for?" And i said "we aren't waiting for anyone we are visiting YOU!" To say she was confused understatement.
I think she will now finally be going into a nursing home b/c clearly she can't be left alone anymore. Which means if she ends up in a decent one she could go on for more years. BUT if she ends up in a shitty one... well it will only go down hill from here. She has been a faithful member of the Mennonite community for her whole life... can she get into a Mennonite nursing home? NOPE. Why? b/c she doesn't have the 10,000$ they require in savings or assets to slowly steal i mean use on a patient. Yeah. what a giving generous community those Mennonites have. It's so good to see God's work shine through them.
Now before you start in the comments with sorry about your Gram. I'll give it to you straight. We never had that warm fuzzy grandma / grandchild relationship. Sure she was nice to me (nicer then my moms real mom... that grandma hated me). But i wasn't really close to her and in recent years her tendency to be a well... witch (you know what i'm saying) to my mom has made me pull even further away b/c no one treats my mom bad. NO ONE. So while yeah this situation is terrible and YES somewhere my cold dead heart is a little sad b/c life in general is precious and i know that her passing would leave a mark on plenty of people. I'm not sad. so if that makes me a bad person... well then i'm a mother fing bad person. What can i say. sorry... no. just it is what it is.
Her life is a life so i hold that with the respect it should get. Further then that.... Plus in the end all things are in God's hands. so that's where i'll leave them.
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4 comments:
She didn't magically turn INTO a witch - she spent her whole life being a mean woman! What kind of woman takes in a 5 year old foster child and THREATENS to "send them back to the sticks"?
Nope - not feeling sad either.
I won't tell you sorry about your Gram, I'll tell you a story of my Nana. Ya see, I didn't know my Nana really at all. She was s skitzo, so she didn't really no better, but she hid her pain, and taught and instead, continuely got married for looks. She married three times, and ended up with two kids whom she mentally abused. One being my mom. She was already in a nursing home when I finally became like "aware" of the world since I was so young, every time I went to see her, it was like going in to a prison. Nursing homes are scary, and the goods one are to much money. When she died, I didn't cry and while I am a bit ashamed of myself for barely feeling sad, I know how you feel. It'll be okay. Cause, I believe that no matter who you were in life, it's happy afterwords.
I can relate to not having the typical grandmother/granddaughter relationship. First my father's parents died before I was born. My mother was estranged from her mother for several years and I didn't even meet her until I was 13. Funny, I called her gram too and so did all my cousins.
My maternal grandmother was ahead of her time. She was an alcoholic and addicted to valium. She dried out I think in her 60's and spent most of her 70's until her death at 86 in a nursing home with mush brain.
When she died I walked into my parents house and I barely got two steps in when my mother said, "Grandma's dead." I just kind of looked at her. This was HER mother. I said, uh, okay, how do you feel about it? She said, "when your father's mother died, I cried for both then." My other paternal grandmotehr died in 1967. This was 2006.
We all have some weird baggage hanging around, lol.
Sis - i did not know that terrible bit about her. Wonderful.
Kat - Thank you for your story! and good thing to believe... i guess except i want bad bad people to not be happy in the after life... is that bad? LOL
Hourglass - Thank you for your story too! Glad to know i'm not the only one who doesn't get warm and fuzzy other thoughts of grandparents. Fun stuff!
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