Judy "The Polish Ace" Sowinski

Standing in the middle you glare
Making us shake
Standing in the middle you stare
Making us keep up
Standing in the middle always with a dare
We dug deeper
Standing in the middle to teach us life ain't fair
We tried harder
Standing in the middle because you always care.

Judy was one of PJRD's (my derby family) coaches along with Arnold “Skip” Schoen. She was one tough lady (go on click on tough... watch her throw down)! She was a tough coach. She scared the crap out of you with just one look & made you want to be a better skater. You wanted to get the "good job" or "nice work" from her so bad! You wanted to show her you could stay in that pace and jump that carpet or cone. You wanted her to say your name or go "watch how she/he does it..."

She will be missed but never forgotten. I didn't know her as well or as long as so many others. But i did know bottom line if i could be half the skater she was... i was doing pretty great!

So THANK YOU JUDY. And once again F You Cancer. someday we will figure you out and then your days will be numbered.

Sally

An angel in the body of a mortal
Can’t everyone see
An angel in the body of a human
Is what you’ll always be to me
Like no other I had met
So kind, caring, and filled with love
Like no other always unique
A big heart & soul sent from above
The time is going much to fast
A giant empty space will be there
The time is such a precious thing
A hole, A void it seems unfair.

(nope this isn't about MY Gram. It's about my honey heads Grandma. a Grandma that makes you realize what those TV shows and movies always go on about in regard to Grandmas being so neat. I'll repeat what i said on FB F You CANCER. She is still with us and with all my hope inside i will keep praying that she will turn things around yet. Life is such a crap shoot.)

Worn out, sleepy - party of ME

I am so worn out and tired lately i'm really worried! This time last year i was working out everyday in the AM feeling great! Ready for what the day had to bring. Now i'm so tired all the time i barely get up in time for work most days (but fear not i do). I would take a day of napping on and off over going for a nice long run any day... it's actually really starting to piss me off something major!

Which leads to the conclusion that i bet i should go to the stupid dr. DAMN! DOUBLE TRIPLE DAMN!! I hate the dr. UGH. and i basically only have 10% faith that they will find something to treat me with... maybe i'll wait another week... (lol)

Update on the Gram BS... she is recovering... but lots of other crazy stuff happened and basically it all = the hospital she is in equates to a clown hospital. at least i think that. it's pretty insane. But like i have stated before... it is what it is.

I should have a super fun exciting post coming soon! I am super excited to share it!

We lost our game on Saturday. Womp Womp. You know what didn't help? Me feeling worn out and tired before the thing even started! UGH! i really should figure this crap out. I guess i could start by taking a vitamin (yuck). Then maybe go to the dr. if that doesn't help? i don't know. I know that right this instant i'm already trying to talk myself out of practice tonight and i don't like that! I HATE THAT!

Back to the game... it was sad. we only had 6 of our 12 players. We had 4 alts playing with us. But it would have been nice to have more of our team. We will get them next year! i hope! LOL on the plus side we get 1st pick in the draft... if we can get rid of some of the players we have... who don't show up ever... ever.... EVER. Losers! make me mad. anyways. the game was pathetic for me at least b/c i felt like i was going to die the whole time which NEVER HAPPENS TO ME!! I was so tired and useless. again i really need to figure my crap out!

Ok i'm ending this whine session (man i am whinny today). Have a Monday filled Monday!

The story of Gram.

So my Gram (the only one still living)... i call her gram just realized some people might not realize that she is my Grandma. ANYWAYS. she will be 91 next month. She hasn't been doing so good recently. A lot of her problems seem like they can be traced to pain meds or basic mistakes by medical professionals that just didn't know or didn't take the time. ANYWAYS. This week was particularly bad. She fell and broke her hip. Yikes... well here it's most likely b/c she was given a pain med where the Dr. warned it would make her dizzy. Great. just what an almost 91 year old needs... dizziness.

So she broke her hip. She's in the hospital... the drs think she only has 3 months to live (excuse me one dr. thinks that) SO that dr. doesn't recommend she gets the hip surgery b/c she most likely wont live through that. Well my uncle insist that she gets it b/c how super awesome would the next three months of her being bedridden be? What kind of life is that? WHAT THE *UCK basically. So she gets the surgery and seems to be recovering fine... until her blood pressure drops way low and she wont wake up.

Well... once they figure out that she has passed out from not having much blood in her to begin with (you know losing blood from surgery and what not...) they start giving her blood. She wakes up half way through the second pint (i believe) and my mom (a nurse) recommends we (anyone visiting) keep talking to her to keep her awake.

I arrive with flowers for her. I show them to her and she says "Oh are these for everyone?" and i tell her that no they are just for her! Then to keep her talking i ask her what she thinks of them if they are pretty... blah blah blah. And she says "your not afraid to spend the money on the good ones!" LOL ok Gram whatever you say. Then she says to me "Who are we waiting for?" And i said "we aren't waiting for anyone we are visiting YOU!" To say she was confused understatement.

I think she will now finally be going into a nursing home b/c clearly she can't be left alone anymore. Which means if she ends up in a decent one she could go on for more years. BUT if she ends up in a shitty one... well it will only go down hill from here. She has been a faithful member of the Mennonite community for her whole life... can she get into a Mennonite nursing home? NOPE. Why? b/c she doesn't have the 10,000$ they require in savings or assets to slowly steal i mean use on a patient. Yeah. what a giving generous community those Mennonites have. It's so good to see God's work shine through them.

Now before you start in the comments with sorry about your Gram. I'll give it to you straight. We never had that warm fuzzy grandma / grandchild relationship. Sure she was nice to me (nicer then my moms real mom... that grandma hated me). But i wasn't really close to her and in recent years her tendency to be a well... witch (you know what i'm saying) to my mom has made me pull even further away b/c no one treats my mom bad. NO ONE. So while yeah this situation is terrible and YES somewhere my cold dead heart is a little sad b/c life in general is precious and i know that her passing would leave a mark on plenty of people. I'm not sad. so if that makes me a bad person... well then i'm a mother fing bad person. What can i say. sorry... no. just it is what it is.

Her life is a life so i hold that with the respect it should get. Further then that.... Plus in the end all things are in God's hands. so that's where i'll leave them.

You are being consulted…

The last 2 days at work… I was being consulted. While it was both very helpful & useful, it was very taxing on the old brain. So I basically did nothing when I got home in night except read my star wars books. By a CRAZY turn in the universe I somehow managed to get the 1st & 2nd book in a 3 book star wars series at different times at different used book sales! Awesome right! I say so. See… there are like a bajillion star wars books and I don’t much like buying new books for full price. So I use book sale shop with the best of them. And when I’m at a used book sale if I see a star wars book I buy it. So there is no order or method to my madness. But the universe gave me a method. PLUS I don’t actually pay attention to order of books… how I managed to read these in order is another small miracle… does this mean we should all play the lotto? Or that suddenly money will come falling from the sky? I’m unsure… I just know it means I have a little book luck. I’ll take it.

Ok so blogger took my blogs away I follow… so I re-followed some of them… then all of them re-appeared. What the freak is that about? I think blogger is a testy old man. Just saying.
SO this photo is of (from left to right) my sis!, me, and LUCKY!! It’s from when we went to see America’s next Drag superstar! Or rather a group of them from RuPaul’s Drag race may the best woman win! AND Carmen Carrera touched my hand and looked at me!!! SHE is so pretty! SHE is way prettier then I ever could be and I have all the legit parts for the gender! Amazing… Some Drag queens are amazing with what they can do.

I guess I really didn’t talk about the drag queen watching experience. Well it was packed. They started way later then they said they would (later then even derby time which is late!). The club allowed smoking I think b/c it’s a members only club so they can get away with it. Which is gross! So we had this little troll of a girl smoking behind us who was trying to worm her way in front of us… sorry trollzilla I was here 1st so you can try somewhere else! Then we had these to dip sticks in front of us fake smoking… NOW I wouldn’t know what fake smoking is or who is doing it. BUT Lucky is a former smoker and she was like “LOOK she isn’t even inhaling… so she is doing it to just make her look like she is smoking…” which made ME want to rip the thing out of her mouth and shove it in her eye socket. I have violent tendencies… maybe I should get that checked out.

But the drag queens from RuPaul’s show were amazing. The Drag queens from the actually place… were a little scary. Their 1st outfits looked like bed sheets trying to be dresses… it was kind of sad. BUT they said my favorite line “Don’t just holler! Give a Bitch a dollar!” LOL love it. Awesome stuff!

OK now you go have a wonderful Friday! Eat something yummy & don’t have any violent outburst… I have enough for us all.