Lets tell the tale of being in Philadelphia (Philly for you Philly / Jersey folk) past the time of 2am. In case you don't know.... only BAD things happen past 2am especially in Philly. So it was the annual Jello Wrestling night for Roller Derby and we parked in a lot right next to the club. SCORE for us. We told the guy we would return around 12:30-1am. We walk out at 2am... the one fence to the lot is locked... bad sign. The little hut is dark and empty... terrible sign. There is a note on the windshield "Go to 9th & Race to get your keys we have a 24 hour lot there." Poop.
The players: Hard CorE, Raychie, Lucky, Adam, and me. Lucky declares "Lets WALK!" Adam (thankfully) looks up on his handy phone GPS the location of the other lot. It's far and zig zags. I declare "Taxi!" Lucky then declares "Well only 2 of us need to go!" Hard CorE is actually parked near the other lot (we were going to drive him to his car... clearly we are of no help now). So Lucky and CorE take the taxis to the other lot. Raychie, Adam, and myself stay and are chatting across from the closed lot while we wait.
We are talking... random normal enough looks like he is minding his own business dude walks by us in his nice pea coat and white sneakers. We think very little of this. BAM up pulls a redish SUV... out pops a very angry man.... he shouts "WE GOT A F*CKING PROBLEM HERE?" all of us + random normal enough dude (lets say RNE Dude) look at Angry Dude... "huh..." He shouts again this time clearly at RNE Dude "YOU GOT A F*CKING PROBLEM??!!!" RNE Dude shakes head No while saying "Um... NO... (looking very confused...)"
OH SH*T Angry Dude is running towards RNE Dude... oh double SH*T Angry dude has now smashed RNE Dudes HEAD into a marble WALL!!!!!!!! Nice white shoe flying off from force!! Adam Runs to break up fight... Raychie yells "Call 911!! Call 911!!" I call 911, hand phone to Raychie. Adam is breaking up fight.... Raychie is walking towards SUV to get plate numbers... homeless lady is joining the cast as is Angry Dudes Girlfriend. I immediately recognize that Angry Dudes GF is going to become a problem.
She gets out of car and starts yelling "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING B*TCH? ARE YOU CALLING THE F*CKING COPS B*TCH? YOUR NOT GETTING THIS PLATE # B*TCH!!!!!!!" I run towards Raychie and get between her and GF!! (Big fat crazy GF FYI.) Just in time... GF is making her fat waddle way towards Raychie who is on phone with back to her... BOOM GF is pushing me saying "WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU B*TCH? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" Me.... "Really.... who am i? WHO are you?" Homeless lady can be heard yelling "Why do **white people always have to be fightin with black people ... anyone got a dollar?" Angry Dude is back and yelling "B*TCH WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET IN THE F*CKING CAR B*TCH!! GET IN THE CAR!!" GF "THIS B*TCH IS TRYING TO CALL THE COPS ON US!" Angry Dude "GET IN THE CAR!" Homeless lady and Angry Dude get GF in the car.... Angry dude gets to drivers side.... GF is back out of the car yelling again and trying to take her too small for her jacket off so she can "Fight!" (eye roll)
Homeless lady and Angry Dude get GF back in the car AGAIN... they drive off.... RNE Dude is gone.... 911 operator is hung up on.
911 operator conversation went like this:
Raychie: The plate # is ----
911: What kind of # is that?
R: i told you a Delaware plate #, # ----
911: Can you tell me the # again?... (GF is pushing and people are yelling in background) What is all the ruckus?
R: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS WHY I AM CALLING YOU!!!
SO RNE Dude is gone with a bleeding head. Adam, Raychie, and I are left with a homeless lady trying to get money from us and wondering if we were just on some hidden camera show.
CorE & Lucky return with keys.... Lucky is mad we didn't get her pizza BUT she guesses she can let us off the hook b/c of the whole drama... other wise we would be in trouble for not getting her pizza.
** i'm half Mexican though i consider myself white many a white person does not... so do i still fall under a "white" person "Fightin" with a black person?
(yes this story really is true and crazy... and again... nothing good happens after 2am)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
That is extremely insane. I went to Philly (I'm from NJ lol) to go the the penitentiary museum. It was late afternoon so nothing crazy happened. I like how he ran out of the car screaming at RNE. It's always the normal ones that go first.
It was basically the most insane thing ever but it makes for a great story! LOL thanks for reading! :O)
Post a Comment