1. God helps those who help themselves. Yeah it seems like it goes without saying BUT clearly some people believe that all you have to do is pray it and it will be yours. This rule comes about b/c i am friends with someone on facebook that consistently posts things like "Someday i will own NY City! My God is that powerful!" (that is not an actual post but theirs are equally as ridiculous as that.) I get it COOL no AWESOME that you believe in God and you pray. Faith is super great. BUT just b/c you pray for something totally outlandish doesn't mean God is just going to give it to you. You actually have to do some work on your own. I know BLASPHEMY you say. But yeah HELP YOURSELF as well as praying... it works wonders.
2. Toilet paper goes on OVER! Under is useless! Unless your name is Sheryl Crow and you claim to only use ONE SQUARE of TP per visit to the potty. Sorry my booty and area needs a little more then one square to take care of business so PUT THE ROLL ON RIGHT! OVER allows you to get what you need. UNDER forces you to rip at and paw at the roll until eventually you can put together all the torn scraps to get the job done. If you under a roll explain yourself so i can stop talking to you. (LOL)
3. If you take your precious bundles of joy out for a meal... keep them in line. If you can't then maybe... just maybe that's a sign you shouldn't be taking them out for a meal unless the place has an attached playground. Nothing worse then being half way through your meal to have Satan's spawn enter the restaurant and proceed to scream every word. ALSO your ability to ignore "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, ..... MOMMMMMMMM!!!" did not pass on to every one in the restaurant. SO ANSWER YOUR FREAKING KID already. or i'll answer for you.... and you wont like it. Yeah i'm not a parent (don't plan on it) so i get that it stinks to always have to go to certain places with your kids... BUT much like the smoker stuck outside it's a sacrifice you make for having things you want. (yeah i just compared parents to smokers... does that make me a bad person?) I just can't stand loud annoying kids that PARENTS are ignoring so they can have a "nice" meal... What about everyone else who can't ignore your kid? Also i know it's possible for children to be well behaved... i have witnessed many of them and they are cute (with only a little evil). Finally as i told my sister yesterday it makes my eggs shrivel just a little each time.
4. If your going to turn.... and there is a turning lane... USE THE LANE!!! GET INTO THE LANE fully!! QUIT straddling two lanes and making everyone behind you want to punch you in the kidney. TURNING LANES are for TURNING!! Straight lanes are for going STRAIGHT. i know tough concept. How about you start learning it.
finally (i'm ending this before i explode)
5. Yes i'm cold. Yes you can see that by the blanket in my lap, the sweatshirt/sweeter i have on, & the various other forms of layers i have to try and keep warm. NO i'm not cold when i go outside b/c outside the AC isn't set to freezer. Oh yes it's so funny to see me frozen day after day.... never gets old does it? I'll set you on fire one day, just fair warning.
Hopefully i didn't repeat myself too much b/c i feel like i have talked about all these things a bunch... i guess i'm full of the same old stories. o'well. LOL have a super day!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Haha! This made me laugh! I agree about children. However, i'm obnoxiously loud, sorry! I try to be quiet though, however I'm passed the "MOM MOM..MOM MOM MOM" age!
How is being cold a rule...LOL. My house is like menopause. Seriously, one room can be 100 degrees and another will be below zero. But we don't put our AC on very high!
I just about snorted my water out of my nose. Amen sista! I am definitely an over person with the t.p. Sheryl Crow can kiss my ass, which is clean because I use enough, not too much toilet paper. I actually think of her many times when I am on my throne. Who the hell is she? I see her on the Tom's toothpaste commercial and think to myself, she must have dirty hands if only using one piece of t.p. Either that or a microscoptic snatch and a**hole. (sorry for the graphic images). I like to help with the enviornment just like everyone else, but come on.
Children in restaurants are something I dred. I love kids, I don't have any of my own, I was once a child that was taught to be quiet in public places without being yelled at or hit. I never did the mom, mom mom moooooommmm thing because it would not be tolerated in public or private. I go to dinner a lot by myself. Sometimes I just like to treat myself to a nice restaurant and want to chill. I was recently sat next to a table with a baby and a few tables away from a small child, about 6. The baby wasn't too bad, but the other one talked and talked. Of course their talking is usually loud talking. Thankfully he left while I was having my appetizer.
The driving thing, I could write an entire blog for years on the crappy drivers, just in St Pete. Remember, green means go, not hesitate.
Kat - I guess the rule is more if i have eight thousand layers on you don't have to ask me if i'm cold b/c DUH i am! LOL and it's ok that your loud i'm GUESSING you can still be well behaved. LOL
Hourglass - Yes! I help the environment by recycling, re-using bags, and various other methods BUT not wiping properly would not help ANYTHING!
Treat yourself! :O) and hopefully the unruly children will be few!
Thank you both for your comments and for reading!
I'm always cold! So I totally get that last rule! I practically pumped my fist in the air! :D I hate it, I actually go outside to THAW because I get so cold, even when it's 102* out.
Post a Comment