May I do a 30 day challenge

SO I recently moved to another state... which means I am looking for a new job... which means I have lots of time... and one of the great things I've been doing with my time is going to the Santa Fe Cookie Company... where they have 3 cookies for 1$.  Let me say that again for you... THREE cookies for ONE DOLLAR. Three delicious amazing cookies for one dollar. OR two amazing brownies for 1$ or 2 cupcakes for 1$ (i have yet to try the cupcakes but i imagine they are amazing as well).  BUT you see that isn't even the most interesting part of this story... the interesting part is you take the cookies you want and you either place your money in a jug or on the counter. It's all based on the honor system. The cookie lady is awesome.

This is a plate of items I got for 3 dollars (except I ate one of the brownies before taking the photo on the drive home...so I got 6 cookies and 2 brownies for 3$).

SOOOO that brings us to my sister also recently moved and we promised each other that we wouldn't let the other one become a blob. My sis did a great job of not becoming a blob!  GO HERE!!  I started becoming a blob and the $1 cookie situation wasn't helping (don't get me wrong I still love them).  MY sis challenged me to take on a 30 day challenge. SO I took her challenge and I'm going to blog about it. I'm going to do 4 days at a time so I don't have a bunch of posts. AND the 30 days started May 1st! 

I combined a bunch of 30 day challenges from pinterest into my 30 day challenge. I will post the list of what I did next to a photo of me from that day. On the rest days I will walk or hike unless it's pouring rain then I will think of something terrible to make myself do inside!

Here goes the first 4 days! (yes all my parts hurt.) 

That is the 30 day yoga I am doing... so far so good it's certainly for beginners which I'm not exactly BUT it's been at least a year since I did a good yoga workout.

All the talk

There has been so much talk lately about unwanted attention. Particularly us ladies getting copious amounts of unwanted attention from complete aggressive strangers. I'm no stranger to this lovely life situation here are some of my fun experiences.

When i was in high school i worked at a laundromat there was this way older gentalman (should he be considered that...) he frequented the laundromat and at first seemed nice enough. We talked... he sometimes brought me mcflurrys.  He then started bringing me more gifts, a small jewelry box, a DVD, and i was like... ok... THEN on my birthday he gave me a birthday card in it, it said usually happy birthday greetings but then ended with "On your 18th birthday maybe we could hug. ;)."  Um... thankfully he didn't know that it was my 18th birthday... and that's about when things got strange and i truly felt unsafe. The whole time i felt really strange about the situation because why was this random person giving me things. I tried to not accept them but that never worked. Thankfully i was graduating and leaving that job behind... but perhaps i should have said something to some to spare the next girl?

Then I started working for a certain grocery chain after graduating. I worked in 3 different areas, the first one there was a manager that sexually harassed me daily. I was young and didn't really think i had any rights so i just bared it. For example i wore skirts sometimes to work because i worked in the front office. one time he asked me while i was walking around to stop and spread my legs.... i did not and THANKFULLY that time another manager was around and yelled at him being as equally horrified as myself.  That manager than asked me if this type of situation happened often and i told him with that guy it did. Shortly after the manager with questionable behavior was fired for a multitude of reasons the top one being his cocaine addiction.

Then the office i worked in was closed so they transferred me to a store. It was my 1st week at this new store and i didn't know anyone so i ate lunch alone... which apparently was an open invitation for this other employee to start talking and flirting with me. I talked to him nice enough but made other lunch plans... any other plans.  He then started following me to my car at the end of my shift sometimes my shift ended at night... in the dark... But again i didn't think i had a right to complain to anyone so i eventually just asked the guy i was dating at the time to show up at the store a few times. But that didn't even take care of the problem me leaving the store and transferring to another job is what "solved" it.

These are just a few examples of the worst situations i have been in that have stuck with me.  I know so many people (mostly ladies) that have had much worse. And now looking back i'm mad at myself for not telling someone because who knows how many other people those men (term used loosely) went on to harass or worse.

I know this topic is hotly debated with some people saying "cat callers" are just trying to be friendly and even more people saying if women weren't getting attention they'd be complaining (i puked typing that)... i mean seriously. It's frustrating. All i want is to walk a few blocks and feel safe, i want that feeling for anyone female or male. what a mess.

Maybe the answer really is gasoline and a book of matches which someone once told me was the answer to all the problems. LOL

Compelled

So why am I finally blogging after not completing my month of mom blogging?  I guess the feeling compelled me. Will this continue on? I don’t know. But for today, here we are.  

I have seen recently and heard people who got the idea somewhere along the way that life is about living in someone else’s shadow and not for breaking out to live your life. Without giving people away or situations it just seems so many people are afraid of the what ifs, so much that they stay in this state of waiting instead of just moving forward and on to things they want.

Is this wrong? I don’t know, I feel like it isn’t the greatest. I feel like it leads down the road to regret and bitterness.  I feel like it will lead to you holding your regrets against the very person you thought you were pausing your life for. Example if you pause your life for a company you work for, eventually you would grow so bitter and hateful towards the company. But the company meanwhile lives their life makes its moves and choices without taking YOU into consideration because… well that’s what their supposed to do. So why are you taking them so much into consideration? 

Why shouldn’t you free yourself of the responsibility of everyone else’s life and live yours? Now this isn’t to say don’t care about the people you love.  But in caring for them you have to care about yourself too don’t you?  Like RuPaul says “If you can’t love yourself, how the HELL you gonna love somebody else?”

More mom love

Dear Topaz,
We will try to move to a 3 bedroom house, that is the important thing, three bedrooms!  So you can have your own bedroom.  Mean kids are every where unfortunatly.  California was really no different when Sara was in 5th & 6th grade there, she didn't really have a true friend either.  I don't want to move in a place without a dishwasher or washer & dryer.
Take the trash out when you get home.  Your fish needs to be done this weekend.
We are babysitting Spence & Janeen Mon. evening don't let me forget.
Love
Mom (o are hearts)

I guess i was complaining about not having my own room, but my mom was a single mother and the fact that we had a nice roof over our head was good enough. She really was / is amazing.  Also my sister and I (or at least me) had this ideal of California that it was magical and much better than PA. So I was always like "things were better when we lived in California..."  children.  I do feel like there was more tolerance in California for diversity... but that could just be youth. People weren't constantly asking you "where are you from..."  and expecting you to say " from the boarder of foreign country... now commence hating me!"

Even though this letter is simple it still fills me with lots of warm fuzzy feels. I just love my mom so much!

Mothers day late

Well technechally since this is Mother's May i'm not really late with my Mother's day post.  BUT anyhow, i was saving one of the best letters from my mom for around mothers day.  This one is dated!!

Feb. 5. 1993
Dear Topaz, 
You will be something when you grow up.  To be something in this world you have to #1 want it. #2 Work for it. and #3 Believe in yourself. You have #1 & #2 and you'll get #3.  You also have a #4 which makes it even easier, you have a mom that loves you and believes in you enough for the both of us.  The SKY IS THE LIMIT! Teachers are not perfect, there are good teachers and not so good teachers they are only human you know?  Learn the best you can from Mrs. M, but don't let her frustrate you.  She is probably doing the best she can.  Teaching is a difficult job some people are naturally good at it and others are not but want to do it anyway.
 You can learn something from every teacher. Right? You work hard and co-operate with teachers and other classmates. I'm very proud of you.  People are always jealous of other people who are happy, beautiful inside and outside and nice.  Just be you and be happy.
Love
MOM (hearts for the O!)

How true to all of life are her letters?  I mean really i do still have #4.  #4 has gotten me through so many really rotten and hard times.  Knowing without a doubt that one person in this world loves me no matter what has gotten me through some tough things and allowed me to make tough choices.  She has always been my # 1 cheerleader and she is amazing. She deserves more than Mother's May but until i become independently wealthy, this will have to do.

 I love how she says "Just be you and be happy."  That is such a good thing to remember and take with you always.  It takes many years for people to get that and sometimes they still don't get it.  Being you is what will make you happy.  If you are pretending to be something your not at the end of the day how is that bringing you happiness?  it's not, you can only really be happy if you get to be you. She was (and is) so wise. 

I spent a lovely Mother's day with her and we had a very fun time. I hope she realizes what an amazing mother she is.

Mother's words

Dear Topaz, 

I'm glad your day went better yesterday.  Think positive and remember when a person really wants something they get it if they work for it. THE SKY IS THE LIMIT, right?
I love you very much and what I want most for you is happiness!
Love 
Mom (remember o are hearts)

The sky is the limit is a saying she gave me as like a motto for my life.  It was - Dream, Reach, Believe, the SKY is the limit.  I had a learning disability in school a combination of not being able to hear well the first few years of schooling and an actual learning disability seeing letters backward and crazy pants other things.  So i was in assisted reading and language arts classes from 3rd to 6th grade.  I worked my butt off to get out of it by 7th grade and a ton of that work and belief that i could get out of it was because of my mom and her giving me things like a life motto and her endless love and support!  As you can imagine being in the "special" class didn't help me with other students that's why i wanted to get out of it and i did. But i have to tell you i might not have if i didn't have such a wonderful supportive mother.

Mother notes

So when i was a pre-teen / teen and full of the angst thinking my life was so awful (as lots of us do at that age), life is just so terrible!  No bills, no work with terrible bosses, no scheduling conflicts... awful.... LOL

Anyhow, i would write my mom a letter about my angsty teenage feels and she would write me back so i will post some of them starting today! I hope to scan some of them and post them as they are but that is not happening today!  I'm certain all my letters sounded the same "No one loves me, i have no friends, my hair is stupid, why are elbows so pointy?"  she always wrote me wonderful notes back...

Dear Topaz, 
I hope happiness finds you, I don't think you are totally unhappy.  But the next few years are full of changes and challenges and you must Keep a positive attitude and change with changes.  Don't worry be happy! Don't worry too much ahead because when you get there you'll probably find out you worried for nothing.  And I will always be there to Love and support you.  That letter you wrote me yesterday was so beautiful and full of deep emotions.  Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I'm not happy alone or happy in a crowd either.  I am very happy with my two wonderful daughters! 

Love
Mom  (except she would make the o hearts)

I feel like this letter still applies today!  Maybe even more so!!  and i have to tell you she is 100% always there to love and support me all 32. something years so far of my life!  She is magic. Serious people MAGIC.  Reading this letter today brings some tears to my eyes because my mother is just so amazing.

Also it's nurse week and HELLO my MOM is a nurse!!  so Thank a nurse in your life or hug them or squeeze them or don't touch them because a few i know don't like contact with germ filled humans. LOL